Part XXXVIII: 

The Deep

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 People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart. -~Proverbs 21:2

     As Reuben crossed the street to return to his neighborhood Jim was returning home for lunch and road up beside him.

     "Hey Reuben..."

     "Jimmy!" Reuben called out with his usual enthusiasm.

     After coming to a complete stop Jim asked, "You need a ride?" 

     "A ride?!  Forget about a ride, I want to ride.  Mind if I sit up front?"  Reuben did wait for a response but began to mount as he waved Jim back.

     Jim grinned while he scooted back, then with some light-hearted sarcasm inquired,  "Does it make a difference if I do?"  

     "Well, it's your bike," Reuben replied now completely on and revving the engine. 

     Jim gave a chuckle, then reached back for the spare helmet and placed it on his head. "Go right ahead."

     "Great, but we have to go across the street because if Maria sees me she will have my head!" Reuben exclaimed while moving real fast as only one that was looking to avoid approaching danger would. "I've been wanting to get one for a long time but she keeps threatening to leave me if I do."

     "Well that doesn't seem fair," came Jim's indignant reply, then with the overconfidence that betrayed his age, he continued, "You have a right to have one, especially if it's your hard earned money you're spending."

     Reuben look at him with the understanding he would give one of his own children; an understanding that made room for their level of maturity. He had grown accustomed to Jim sharing his point of view on injustices and knew that in these matters he's been clueless.  Reuben generally wasn't as thorough as Alex when speaking of these things, but he had a gift for using less words effectively to get to the heart of the matter.  

     Although he knew Jim's intention was good, he recognized he had lit a match that could have been used to start a destructive fire by someone less mature.  Then with the expertise of a well-trained firefighter, he said, "Bro, just like with the body of Christ, there's no MY money or MY any other thing in marriage, and that includes rights so you had better enjoy your MY and ride now before you get married.  It's not about what's fair.  It's about love.  You think it was fair forJesus to die on that cross for us?"

     Jim thought it over for a moment before softly replying, "No...it was love."

     The flame had been put out.  "Exactly, besides, I understand.  It may be a different story if I sensed she was just being stubborn and prideful in wanting her own way but there's more to it than that.  Maria had a cousin she was real tight with who was killed while riding his bike.  I used to own one back then and she made me get rid of it.  There's still pain and fear there, but I'm slowly working on her."

     With that he took off and headed back into Alex's neighborhood.  Meanwhile, Jim thought of Camille's pain while he contemplated what Reuben had said. 

     As Reuben road through the streets he came across Alex.  In passing, he beeped the horn.  Alex looked over not recognizing him at first, then waved realizing it was Reuben and Jim.  He then shook his head and thought with affection, What a nut...I hope Maria doesn't catch him or he's done for. 

     Reuben stopped where Jim had first spotted him, just outside their neighborhood.  He then dismounted the bike, turned to Jim and said with much appreciation and admiration. "Thanks man.  Nice ride.  She's sweet.  I'll walk from here.  I don't want Maria or the kids catching me." 

     Jim smiled before saying wholeheartedly, "Thank you." 

     Reuben gave him a puzzled look. "For what?"

     "For what you said about Maria's pain and the rest."  He then elaborated and his manner was like someone who had made a wonderful discovery.  "Yesterday I was talking to Camille and after what you shared I was considering once again how I felt she needed time to heal from the pain I saw in her when we started talking about our neighborhoods.  I realize now our neighbors across the street have been acting out of pain instead of pride and they need time to heal."

     Reuben looked at him thoughtfully before replying.  He and Alex knew this was an area Jim had needed to grow in, but he also didn't want Jim to think that was the case with everyone, and in every situation, for that would be more of the same thing, just heading in the opposite direction.  In the process they didn't want to rob Jim of the things the Lord had given him, but help him see that being equipped with knowledge alone wasn't enough, true seeing and hearing came from having one's heart found in the Lord's heart.

     "Who told you there's no pride over there?" he asked.

     "I saw her Reuben," Jim said repeated with awe.  "I had this peace in me that even surprised me and I really saw her," then with emphasis he continued, "I'm telling you she was hurt." 

     "Ok, so Camille was hurt and you didn't see any pride.  I hear you, but you can't now assume that is the case with everyone, and even those that aren't now may yield to it later.  That's the same as assuming they are all prideful all the time."

     Jim grew quiet as he considered his words, "I hadn't thought of that," he replied thoughtfully as he recognized the truth in what Reuben said. 

     Padding his shoulder Reuben then said, "Well, you're not married, you learn this one fast when you tie the knot." Then with awe and wonder, and as if speaking of some strange being that was equally wonderful and frightful he continued,  "The female species is a wonderful piece of work..." he paused for a moment as an appreciative smile played on his face, "not to mention easy on the eyes, but talk about changes bro...especially those biological changes they go through.  I love my wife and would give my life for her, in a heartbeat, but once a month I am more than happy to put as much space between us as possible."  

     Jim chuckled at his final look of consternation.   

     Reuben continued, "Sure, laugh now.  Your time will come," then returning back to the previous topic he said, "And it can be both you know, pride and being hurt.  We are more vulnerable to these things when we are wounded.  For me the pride part of it generally comes in when I consider how others have treated me.  If they've treated me poorly and I feel wounded, then the temptation to yield to pride is greater...especially if they don't see their wrong and feel sorry about it. Just like Jesus we all have our cross to bear as we look to our relationship with our Pap first, love Him most, and forget about our rights.  And let me tell you, it's alot easier to forgive when you realize that apart from Jesus you are no better than your neighbor.  We really have nothing to feel boastful about except the Lord."    

     Jim sat silently thoughtful and Reuben knew he had heard him.  In the past when he tried to talk to the kid about these things Reuben could see that in his anger and pain he wasn't open to it, yet there was a definite change that had taken place in Jim. 

     Reuben then left him with these parting words, "Personally Jimmy, I do see alot of hurt in this community, but I also see plenty of pride mingled with it too. God does want to meet our needs and heal us, but we can need humbling first. 

     We need to define pride as Pap sees it.  Sure a part of it is recognizing that without our big Brother we are no better than everyone else, then there's taking matters into our own hands instead of trusting and relying on Him.  You just continue to come from the right place, a pure heart.  When our hearts are pure, and we are at peace from not filtering things through our past associations, we can see others and God as they are, as the Lord reveals in his time and way, then if there is a need for God's fire or peace, we are in the favorable position of receiving it.  It isn't enough to have the right intentions, but it's an admirable start,"  Reuben shared padding his shoulder again then turned and went on his way.

     Jim sat there awhile taking it all in when he saw Reuben coming back towards him. 

     "You like to hunt?" he asked.

     "You mean like wildlife?"

     "Yea."

     "I've never been but I've always wanted to go."

     "Well you and me are going bro.  I'll look to set it up and when I am ready, I'll let you know."

Part XXXIX:  The Receiever