Part XXIII:

Hope Floats

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Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
      by the gazelles and wild deer,
      not to awaken love until the time is right.

     -Song of Solomon 2:7

     Sarah looked in the mirror to check her reflection once again. She was looking forward to this day, even if it came with some apprehension. She didn't know what she would encounter but she was glad to be venturing forth again. And then there was Alex...

     He had called her earlier to let her know not to have lunch as there was a place in the community he wanted to take her to grab a bite to eat.

     He was such a nice guy and very considerate.  He seemed to be in tune with the needs of others and more than willing to lend a helping hand. A real servant’s heart, and she knew it was genuine because it came naturally and he really seemed to enjoy it. She really did like him.

     When he had offered to show her around she was more than willing to take him up on the offer. The place still intrigued her and she enjoyed her time with him. He also appeared to be enjoying himself. Sarah thought about the way he lit up like a Christmas tree when he spoke about the Lord, and he had a gift for putting things simply which helped her understanding.

     Sarah wondered what he thought of her. Usually she could tell if a guy liked her because they made it obvious, but it wasn't that easy to detect with Alex for his kindness and attentiveness appeared to be a part of his makeup and extended beyond her.

     Whether he liked her or not, Sarah was glad he hadn’t asked her out on an official date, it took the pressure off. She had given up on the whole dating scene. In the beginning she had just decided not to date men that didn’t have a relationship with God. In her more naive days she had liked the fact that beyond a few exceptions, most men in secular society didn’t seem in a hurry to get married but there wasn’t any care about Godly values and things just moved too fast. That generally ended with a broken heart when she didn’t play along, and the fact that they didn't share her desire to emerge herself in the things of God also left her longing for more.  Sarah had learned the hard way what the scriptures meant regarding being unequally yoked.

     Then there was her experience with Christian men. Even the initial date felt more like an interview for marriage. She hated that as it felt like she was being sized up by a criteria list instead of first getting to know her. Oh, she understood the reasoning and value behind it, especially after her experience with the secular dating scene. Sarah just felt that beyond certain shared values and desires, like a heart after God and the desire for children, the rest could be worked out. Furthermore, she was in no hurry to take that plunge.

     So that had been the dilemma for her, both dating scenes had something she liked, and disliked. Either way she ended up feeling like a piece of meat on display and grew wearisome of the whole process.

     Sarah had such a great time with Alex during their lunch the other day. If it had been a date she would have scored it as the best date she had ever had. They had spoken at length about the things of the Lord which they both obviously loved and enjoyed…and Jesus was there with them. Jesus was there with them! It was like they were two kids in a candy store and her heart felt warm just thinking about it. Sarah had no doubt, Alex was a man who really loved the Lord and was committed to him. She also knew that was a good part of her growing attraction to him and her soul was afloat with hope.

     Even so, she was feeling nervous. It was just so much so soon and she hadn't anticipated meeting a man she would like. That was the farthest thing from her mind when she had set out for a bike ride that first morning, but after their lunch the other day she was open to the possibilities.

     "Oh Jesus," she prayed. "I don’t know what you may have in mind for me but I do feel drawn there…and to Alex. Lord, you know I didn’t set out looking for this, please help me keep a watch over my heart." She then got into her car and headed for Christian Stepfordville.

     While driving her thoughts were on the Lord. He was so patient and kind with her, even when she didn’t understand his ways which sometimes led to a misunderstanding of his love. Yet deep down inside she knew He loved her beyond her present ability to fully comprehend and equipped with that understanding she continued to move forward. He seemed especially attentive to her since she had ventured away from home on her bike ride last week. She was so grateful too for she really did need Him.

     As Sarah approached the community she noted the difference in appearance. It no longer stuck out and the gate didn't appear to be as large and formidable as it had before. Sarah once again stopped at the security checkpoint, but this time the guard just waved her in.

     Oh yes, it definitely looks different, she thought to herself. It was still much nicer than your average community yet it seemed more down to Earth. She then looked up at the electrical lines to see if the workers were still there, but she didn't see any in sight. Sarah was glad for she had always felt uneasy when passing by them.

     As she drove into Alex’s neighborhood she once again noted the change in appearance. The homes were still wonderful, although they didn’t look as spectacular as before. Sarah then parked and made her way to the cafe. It was a lovely, clear, autumn day and many of the residents were out and about again taking advantage of the sun.

     The cafe looked exactly the same. Timothy was once again behind the counter and preoccupied with customers.  Business appeared to be picking up. There was also a young lady behind the counter and Sarah thought that must be Karen, the coworker he mentioned last week. She then turned to look for Alex and spotted him at a table. He smiled at her and pulled out a chair as he waved her over. 

     “How was your ride?” he asked once she had settled in.

     "Nice, it's such a beautiful day," she replied somewhat breathless, then recalling that she had told him she would be riding her bike, she added, "I drove my car over instead..."

     "Is the bike ok? It looked fine when I picked it up but I can take it back if there is a problem," Alex quickly offered.      

     "Oh no, the bike's perfect. I just thought I would save my energy for what may be in store today."  That was the truth, but she also knew she had wanted to put on something nicer than her sports attire.

     Alex nodded and it then occurred to her that she may be being presumptuous, after all, he could have made plans for later. "I mean, I didn't know how long I would be here…" her voice trailed off as she was beginning to feel self-conscious again.

     He was about to reply when a redhead suddenly approached them at their table. "Alex!" she exclaimed enthusiastically while planting a firm kiss on his cheek. "I thought I might find you here. I was hoping to catch a ride with you to the theater later. You are joining us?" The last comment was posed as a question, but it was more of a statement and a means of trying to convey in a clever way that the opposite course was utter foolishness.

     She was tall for a woman, strikingly beautiful, and she carried herself with an air of sensuality that was tangibly felt. Her attire was chic and very elegant, and she looked very much to Sarah like a fashion model.

     "Hi Camille. Darren mentioned it but I had already made plans."

     "That’s a shame," she said with a pout of her deep red lips. "I was really looking forward to riding with you."

     Sarah's heart sank at the exchange that left her feeling uncomfortably awkward. She also felt overshadowed in the presence of this beautiful woman and she found herself replying, "If you’d like to go I can find my way around..."

     At hearing her voice Camille then turned to look her over with particular interest. Meanwhile, her reply took Alex by surprise and his eyes grew wide as he tried to silently discourage her from going on, but Sarah hadn't taken note of it for she was now nervously fussing with her shirt.  

     "Camille, this is Sarah. I cleared my schedule to show her around and planned on making it a day."

     "Hi," Sarah greeted with a nervous smile before commenting, "That’s a beautiful dress."

     To Camille it was apparent that Sarah was intimidated by her. It came as no surprise for she often had this effect on other women. It pleased her for she resented how they often didn't like her and this gave her satisfaction, along with her own vengence for judging her without making a decent effort to get to know her. Now looking over her most recent victim she shot back, "I would hope so, it cost a small fortune," before brushing her off as insignificant and turning her attention back to Alex. "Why don't you all come along. It'll be fun."

     "Maybe next time Camille, but we have a lot of ground to cover today." He then rose from his chair.

     Camille pouted again, then wiped the imprint on his cheek with her hand. "Lipstick," she said as he jerked his head at the intimate gesture.  "Well then," she continued, "I guess it'll have to wait for the Superbowl party tomorrow."

     Alex nodded before saying, "Say hi to the guys for me." Then making his way over to Sarah he grabbed the back of her chair as an indication that it was time for them to be on their way. When she rose he grasped her hand firmly in his and quickly made his way towards the exit.  

     His truck was parked just outside the cafe and as they reached it he glanced down at their hands as if just noticing that he had taken a hold of hers. He then released hers with an apologetic look before opening the passenger door for her and coming around the other side. Now in the safety of his truck he turned to her and asked more cheerfully, "Ready for lunch?" 

     Sarah nodded, then turned to him and asked, "Alex, are you sure? I don’t want to intrude on your personal life and I've already taken up so much of your time." She then turned to face forward again feeling vulnerable as she waited on his reply.

 Part XXIV:  Reality Check