Part XLVI: 

Bilingual Lessons

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     Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. ~James 5:7-9 

     "Hey guys," Jim greeted as he parked his motorcycle in Alex's driveway. "You find the problem?"

     Reuben was the first to respond, "No man, we've been waiting on you."

     "Reuben thinks the culprit is the compressor. I think it's the alternator. You have the deciding vote," Alex added.

     "Culprit?" Reuben asked as if the word both puzzled and amused him. "Why don't we just call it the perp and slap some handcuffs on it. Bro, you're not a cop anymore, remember?"

     Alex flashed Rueben an intentionally dry, weary look before saying, "Maybe you'd prefer this approach." Then engaging his whole body in an exagerated attempt to imitate Reuben's animated way ofcommunicating,he turned to Jim again and said, "Jimmy bro, this Senorita has been nagging me all day. Her ingratitude is wearing on my nerves. Will you tell me what's her problem so I can straighten her out? Ok...bro?"

     Reuben couldn't help but let out an appreciative laugh at the comeback. "You know, you're getting to be a smart alec in your old age. Don't you think so Jim?"

     "Hey, I'm not that much older than you...and it takes one to know one," Alex shot back. "Isn't that right Jim?"

     Jim's head was swinging back and forth at the exchange between the two men. Although he knew the animosity was one of fun jesting, he was leery about jumping right in. With eyes that closed to a squint and brows that furrowed in suspicion, Jim spoke, "Oh nooo...my days of taking sides are over, or at least until I've checked things out more closely for myself." He then put on his work gloves and headed for the truck.

     Reuben and Alex both peered at each other in a silent exchange that spoke volumes about the apparent change in Jim. Each fought to suppress a chuckle. Reuben was the first to speak.

     "Hey pops, you know what your problem is? You need to clean up."

     "And two wrongs don't make a right sooo, right back at you bro."

      The jabs continued between them while Jim investigated the noise under the hood. A few minutes later he cut in with the news, "I found the culprit on this Senorita."

     Dropping silent they rushed to the truck and joined Jim under the hood. Both were now anxious to see which one was right.

     "You're both wrong. It's the belt tensioner, she's gone bad...the culprit, the perp." A wide smile played on Jim's face as he revelled in the fact that he was able to catch on with the play on words and throw in some clever comments of his own.

     "The belt tensioner?" Alex asked as if to himself. "Of course, I don't know why I didn't consider that."

     "Me neither," Reuben chimed in.

     "Yep, it's shot," Jim reiterated. He then suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree as he looked at Reuben. "Speaking of shot, I bought a rifle."

     "You didn't have to do that, I was going to let you borrow one of mine." At Alex's look of bewilderment Reuben continued, "Don't worry bro, we're not planning on robbing a bank. We're going hunting."

     "Hunting?"

     "Yea, hunting," Reuben repeated more cautiously.

     "When did you plan on going?"

     "Saturday."

     "And you didn't invite me?"

     "Well...no."

"Well, why not?" Alex asked with enough annoyance to turn the question into a mild rebuke.

     "Bro, what's with the interrogation? I know how you feel about animals and didn't think it would be your thing. You can be such a girl about these things. Besides, I figured you and Sarah had plans for the weekend."

     "A girl?! What's that supposed to mean? And how are you supposed to know what plans I have if you don't even ask?"

     Reuben stood there silent for a minute as he contemplated Alex's words. This was not what he had anticipated. Oh, he had expected this type of reaction, but Alex's reasons appeared to be coming from the opposite direction and it left him confused. Did I offend him with my humor? Reuben wondered.

     After eyeing him carefully he asked, "Do you really want to go?"

     "I don't know?"

     Reuben threw his hands up in the air in exasperation, "After all that...so you have plans then?"

     "I don't know?" Alex repeated in a muffled voice. "I was hoping I would have plans with Sarah but she...she hasn't returned my call."

     "So call her back and find out," Reuben said shrugging his shoulders, his way of stressing that it wasn't a big deal and the problem was easily resolved.

     Just then Alex found himself envying Reuben and Jim's ability to be so nonchalant about these things. He then sighed before responding with a downcast face, "I did...but still no response."

     "You think she dumped you?" Jim asked.

     "Na, I think she's hiding."

     "Women!" Jim exclaimed before leaning in, then repeatedly poking at his right temple for emphasis he continued, "It's all them head games they play. I used to try and figure them out, but not anymore. I just tell it like it is, cut to the chase you know. I don't see any reason to beat around the bush. Who has time for that?"

     "Geesh!" Reuben cut in. "No wonder you two are single, you don't know about chicks!"

     "Oh hear we go..." Alex said rolling his eyes.

     "Don't mind him Jimmy," Reuben was not put off in the least bit and continued as if he had epic knowledge on the subject and they needed to hear what he had to say.

     "Listen up boys! The first thing you need to know aboutchicks is that they have a whole different language they share and expect us to instinctively know. I used to tell Maria all the time, 'Maria, what are you talking about? If you want something from me just tell me. If you're not happy about something then speak up. I love you baby but I can't read your mind. How am I suppose to know that when you move the garbage can here you want it emptied out, or when you say you spotted a new restaurant that you want me to take you there?' Well, she has no problems speaking up now. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Be real careful what you wish for," he warned while he waved his right pointer finger from one to the other.

     Alex chuckled while Jim slapped Reuben in the chest as he reiterated, "See, it's the games."

     "No, no," Reuben objected. "I'm not saying they don't play their games but if you are going to survive in the jungle you gotta know the difference between a game and a foreign language. It's not the same. A game is like a hunt. You see your target, plan your move, then go for the kill." Reuben became fully animated while he played it out. "Now a foreign language is mysterious so it helps to be bilingual and also find other ways to connect...Venus and Mars bro."

     At seeing the huge smiles on their faces Reuben said, "Sure, laugh but whose got the track record here? It's certainly not the two of you. I've been at this for eighteen years and Maria and I are still going strong. I'm telling you, you gotta know the language, like how they want you to listen while they tell you about their problems, without trying to fix it! I mean if it's broke we men are wired to try and fix it right?"

     "Right?" Jim fully agreed.

     "Now you would think this would win their approval and inspire gratitude but no...that's how they let out all them emotions you see. Maria calls it cleansing. We men talk about our problems so we can find ways of fixing them, but women, that's a whole different story. Sometimes that's the case but many times it's the cleansing...trust me, if they want your opinion they will ask for it, otherwise, if you don't want anymore trouble just keep your mouth shut and lay low until the storm passes."

     Jim and Alex bothgot a good laugh at that. Alex then said, "I don't know about that Reuben, Sarah likes my input and has shown much gratitude for my help."

     Reuben flashed Alex a look one would give a naive child. "Bro, that don't count. You two are still in stage one, getting to know each other. That's a sign that she likes you and you can say just about anything at that stage and it all sounds so grand to them, give it more time."

     Alex gave him a shove, yet he couldn't help but chuckle before commenting to Jim, "You see what I have to put up with?"

     Reuben laughed, "Alright...you're pretty wise so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but let me finish. A marriage takes three, God, man and woman. We should submit to God no matter what the other is doing, and then to each other out of love for one another. In marriage, and really all our relationships, we need to realize we each are a part to a larger unit and we need to do our part. So, while I encouraged her to speak up, I am committed to getting to know this mysterious language that is a part of her makeup. The good thing is that after being married for awhile you get better at it. It took me about five years to really get a decent handle on it. After awhile it's not that hard. You have to tune yourself out and tune them in, like changing the television station from a game to some sappy novella."

     Alex chuckled again, "You're all heart Reuben."

     "Bro, you know I love my wife. I'm just saying, it's different."

     "What's a novella?" Jim asked.

     "In Spanish it.s generally used as a reference to soap operas," Alex replied.

     "That's right. Now you say Sarah is hiding and Jim says she's playing games but you know what I think. I think she's scared."

     "Well I know that. She's hiding because she's scared," Alex said, "But how did you know?"

     "I could see it in her face that night."

     "You mean at the game? She was a bit nervous about meeting everyone."

     "No, at dinner."

     "Really, I hadn't noticed it then."

     "Of course you didn't. You were in shock and with Maria going on about all the hairs on her arms standing up..."

     "Sooo...call her again." Jim said flippantly.

      "Nooo," Alex replied decisively while shaking his head. "She told me once about guys rushing her and how she would do this, pull away for a time. I want to give her the room that she needs."

     "And you're not worried that she won't come back?"

     At Jim's inquiry Alex shook his head no, but then added, "The thought has crossed my mind more than once...I hate to even consider it, and here's the thing. We've been sharing about living in the moment and not jumping to conclusions, to continue to trust God through the darkness. As challenging as it can be at times, I'm committed to doing that. That hasn't always been the easiest thing for me because I like to figure things out...and as you so aptly put it Reuben, to fix what may be broke. I also feel like I've done my part, not that I have any problems doing more because I would be more than willing, but knowing her need for space I feel I've done all I can without crossing those boundaries and all there is left for me to do now is wait, and pray. I really do like her so the temptation to let my mind wander in a negative direction can be great at times, but I can't afford it, not now, not with her. The seeds have been sown and watered in this relationship and now I wait.

     Reuben nodded in approval, "Sounds like a good move bro. Sometimes the best move to make is no move. I believe she'll come around, but as Jim said, it may not hurt to try her again. Something could have happened to her."

     "I did consider that scenario so I did call her at work, just to make sure she was in and ok. She picked up and sounded fine, then I hung up without saying anything. Maybe later on I'll try reaching her again, but I need to give her time."

     "Oh, the irony," Reuben mused aloud.

     "What?" Alex asked.

     "It's just that you've always had cold feet about relationships and now you've fallen for a girl with cold feet."

     "As I said, you're all heart Reuben. Is there anything you don't find funny?"

     "Oh, come on bro. Don't be like that. I'm feeling you, I am. I just see the humor in it too. Admit it, it's kind of funny when you think of it."

     Just then Alex's cell phone rang and as he took note of the number on screen his eyes grew wide and visibly brightened, "It's her." He then excused himself and entered his home where he took the call.

     Jim then looked at Reuben and asked wholeheartedly, "Is it really worth it Reuben?"

     "What, women?"

     "Yea, but not just women, relationships. Seems my relationships have been ridden with misunderstandings and anger for too long, on both ends." Jim held his head low as he fidgeted inside his tool box in a purposeful effort not to look directly at Reuben. At the forefront of his thoughts were his more recent exchanges with Brian and Camille, but now that he had aired his thoughts aloud he felt uncomfortable that he had shared them, especially with the man he had unfairly judged for so long.

     Reuben understood him as one that had been there and done that. As a result he was intimately acquainted with his feelings, thoughts, and concerns.

     "Sure it is. You know as often as I like to joke about these things I can't imagine life without Maria and the kids. After Jesus, she is my better half...and as much as I like to tease Alex he's like the older brother I never had. There's nothing more rewarding than a shared life with God and others. That's what life is about bro, learning to live inside God's Heart; in his language of love in Christ, not all this other nonsense we make such a fuss about and allow to cloud what's most important. Relationships take a whole lot of love, and with that comes self-sacrifice and patience, but it is more than worth it in the long run. In Romans Paul speaks of becoming living sacrifices. There is pleasure in the sacrifice when it is coming from a heart of love. Hang in there bro. Don't grow weary in well doing. With time you will reap a harvest. Believe me, the best is yet to come..."

Part XLVII: Where to go From Here?