Ambassadors For Jesus - My Multi-Racial Complex (www.ambassadorsforJesus5.com) And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. ~1 Corinthians 13:13 I did want to share my story, this speckled sheep's progressive journey into the Heart of God found in Jesus. I call it my multi-racial complex. I want to take responsibility for what may be an issue with me, while I also take note of what I feel I see as issues apart from me. So I feel like one of Jacob’s speckled sheep. There are what I see as more conservative Christians and more liberal Christians. Like in politics. Anyway, I see value in each and it is like I have the colors of each. Yet when I find myself amongst them and sharing, because I have the colors of both it seems to me that I am not fully accepted because I don't see exactly eye to eye with them. Like they see my other color and want to keep me at bay due to it. And yes, a complex on my part may play in too. I get that to a degree. I mean I don’t believe that one needs to be suspicious and allow the enemy to have a field day with that. There is a difference between exercising wisdom and discernment and being suspicious. There is also a matter of trust and trust can take time, especially if one has been hurt before. Keeping someone at bay may be necessary at times for whatever reason. At times I've done it too, sometimes even to protect them from me and how I may negatively react in my grievances and pain. I don’t fully buy into things at heart either and that is wise as the Lord should reveal the truth to us before we do. Due to that I realize I may be doing the same thing too to a degree so not saying it is all them (and not saying all Christians), but I do try to extend myself and look to see if we can come together and connect at a deeper level in Jesus. Yet I can also find myself swimming against the current, thus I can also refer to myself as a salmon. I just see the value in each side and I try and bring that in while also looking to point out the deeper waters of Father's Heart found in Jesus. While doing so, I try not go against what the Lord may be doing in a particular place. So I have a heart for both sides, but this is what generally happens to me. When I am with those more liberal, because of how they see those that are more conservative and how they speak of them that can grieve me deeply, I can find my heart leaning more with the conservative Christians. And same with the conservative Christians, when I find myself amongst them and then how it seems they see those that are more liberal, I can find my heart more leaning with the liberal Christians. And it has been a very grievous and painful experience for me and I’ve cried and prayed about it all...and continue to do so. Now I do feel that not too long ago the Lord may have shown me that I am going to come to a place where my heart can continue more steadily in each. Doesn't mean my distaste for things like pride and "judging things we should not" will disappear, God has a distaste for those things too. It also doesn't mean I won't need space from time to time, but to continue to be grieved for both sides and offer up heartfelt prayers for each. Furthermore, felt He showed me how I would grow more confident and at peace in Him in being different and yes I am. So that’s me, a speckled sheep that also needs to continue progressing in Jesus. I look forward to the day when the Lord brings us all closer together in Him. We can try and do that on our own, been there, done that. But we are all dealing with things and needing more growth so even as I still like to put myself out there and see how the Lord may connect us, I’m learning not to do more of his job and just do my part by loving and accepting others as they are and looking to find common ground in the deep waters of God’s Heart of Love found in Jesus. And so there it is, my multi-racial complex. I did hear one other person speak of similar things. They once referred to themselves as a misfit which I have referred myself to that too. They didn’t describe it as a multi-racial complex but they described it as pressure from both sides to convert to their beliefs and they weren’t going to be pressured into that for they didn’t believe in sides (or something like that). That is the first time I can recall hearing someone mention feeling the same way I did. I don’t believe we have to see everything eye to eye in order to come together in Jesus. That may be another Tower of Babel. We have our God given differences as our parts to his body and what He has called us to do, yet we all need to be united in Him. Anyway, again, not saying that is everywhere and everyone, just sharing my story...and don’t claim to be exempt of the same behavior of myself for whatever reason. But it can be that we tend to view things of such nature as right or wrong and maybe at times that is the case, I don’t know. I do feel though that at times, it can be more about keeping in tune with what the Lord is doing because we are all a work in progress. Being with a particular group may be where we need to be at a certain time for what the Lord is looking to do in our lives, and the lives of others. Although, we can take the position of our group being better than others and God's Light instead of seeing it for what it is, something God can use for a season as we come together in Him. Our Light needs to be Jesus and his Heart of Love. Last but not least, I don’t believe sharing our grievances and pain and what we see as things that may be wrong and need working on is the same thing as looking down on others and throwing stones. There is a difference and these things can be very useful as they are used of the Lord. When we share our stories with others we can find that they may be dealing with the same things, or have before and we each can see that we are not alone there...never alone as the Lord is with us, but speaking of our human relationships. Speaking of issues in love can help us grow as the Lord would come into the picture. But again, I don’t look to make rules of things. There may be a time when the Lord says don’t speak and we need to heed his voice. My portion and I do realize their may be more to it than that. We are all progressing in Jesus and He will bring us all together in Him. And our portion? Remain in Him and follow his lead. Stay sensitive to where He may engage our hearts as we continue to be driven by his Love. Ephesians 2:14-22 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit. Further Reading: 1 Corinthians 13, That Shiny Nose, Are Mars and Venus Really That Different?,The Eye of the Beholder

Ambassadors for Jesus

an Online Magazine

My Multi-Racial Complex

(www.ambassadorsforJesus5.com)

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. ~1 Corinthians 13:13

I did want to share my story, this speckled sheep's progressive journey into the Heart of God found in Jesus. I call it my multi-racial complex. I want to take responsibility for what may be an issue with me, while I also take note of what I feel I see as issues apart from me.

So I feel like one of Jacob’s speckled sheep. There are what I see as more conservative Christians and more liberal Christians. Like in politics.

Anyway, I see value in each and it is like I have the colors of each. Yet when I find myself amongst them and sharing, because I have the colors of both it seems to me that I am not fully accepted because I don't see exactly eye to eye with them. Like they see my other color and want to keep me at bay due to it. And yes, a complex on my part may play in too.

I get that to a degree. I mean I don’t believe that one needs to be suspicious and allow the enemy to have a field day with that. There is a difference between exercising wisdom and discernment and being suspicious. There is also a matter of trust and trust can take time, especially if one has been hurt before. Keeping someone at bay may be necessary at times for whatever reason. At times I've done it too, sometimes even to protect them from me and how I may negatively react in my grievances and pain.

I don’t fully buy into things at heart either and that is wise as the Lord should reveal the truth to us before we do. Due to that I realize I may be doing the same thing too to a degree so not saying it is all them (and not saying all Christians), but I do try to extend myself and look to see if we can come together and connect at a deeper level in Jesus. Yet I can also find myself swimming against the current,

thus I can also refer to myself as a salmon. I just see the value in each side and I try and bring that in while also looking to point out the deeper waters of Father's Heart found in Jesus. While doing so, I try not go against what the Lord may be doing in a particular place.

So I have a heart for both sides, but this is what generally happens to me. When I am with those more liberal, because of how they see those that are more conservative and how they speak of them that can grieve me deeply, I can find my heart leaning more with the conservative Christians. And same with the conservative Christians, when I find myself amongst them and then how it seems they see those that are more liberal, I can find my heart more leaning with the liberal Christians.

And it has been a very grievous and painful experience for me and I’ve cried and prayed about it all...and continue to do so. Now I do feel that not too long ago the Lord may have shown me that I am going to come to a place where my heart can continue more steadily in each. Doesn't mean my distaste for things like pride and "judging things we should not" will disappear, God has a distaste for those things too. It also doesn't mean I won't need space from time to time, but to continue to be grieved for both sides and offer up heartfelt prayers for each. Furthermore, felt He showed me how I would grow more confident and at peace in Him in being different and yes I am.

So that’s me, a speckled sheep that also needs to continue progressing in Jesus. I look forward to the day when the Lord brings us all closer together in Him. We can try and do that on our own, been there, done that. But we are all dealing with things and needing more growth so even as I still like to put myself out there and see how the Lord may connect us, I’m learning not to do more of his job and just do my part by loving and accepting others as they are and looking to find common ground in the deep waters of God’s Heart of Love found in Jesus.

And so there it is, my multi-racial complex.

I did hear one other person speak of similar things. They once referred to themselves as a misfit which I have referred myself to that too. They didn’t describe it as a multi-racial complex but they described it as pressure from both sides to convert to their beliefs and they weren’t going to be pressured into that for they didn’t believe in sides (or something like that). That is the first time I can recall hearing someone mention feeling the same way I did. I don’t believe we have to see everything eye to eye in order to come together in Jesus. That may be another Tower of Babel. We have our God given differences as our parts to his body and what He has called us to do, yet we all need to be united in Him.

Anyway, again, not saying that is everywhere and everyone, just sharing my story...and don’t claim to be exempt of the same behavior of myself for whatever reason. But it can be that we tend to view things of such nature as right or wrong and maybe at times that is the case, I don’t know. I do feel though that at times, it can be more about keeping in tune with what the Lord is doing because we are all a work in progress. Being with a particular group may be where we need to be at a certain time for what the Lord is looking to do in our lives, and the lives of others. Although, we can take the position of our group being better than others and God's Light instead of seeing it for what it is, something God can use for a season as we come together in Him. Our Light needs to be Jesus and his Heart of Love.

Last but not least, I don’t believe sharing our grievances and pain and what we see as things that may be wrong and need working on is the same thing as looking down on others and throwing stones. There is a difference and these things can be very useful as they are used of the Lord. When we share our stories with others we can find that they may be dealing with the same things, or have before and we each can see that we are not alone there...never alone as the Lord is with us, but speaking of our human relationships. Speaking of issues in love can help us grow as the Lord would come into the picture. But again, I don’t look to make rules of things. There may be a time when the Lord says don’t speak and we need to heed his voice.

My portion and I do realize their may be more to it than that. We are all progressing in Jesus and He will bring us all together in Him.

And our portion?

Remain in Him and follow his lead. Stay sensitive to where He may engage our hearts as we continue to be driven by his Love.

Ephesians 2:14-22

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Further Reading: 1 Corinthians 13, That Shiny Nose, Are Mars and Venus Really That Different?,The Eye of the Beholder

jo@ambassadorsforjesus5.com