Ambassadors For Jesus - Love the message as it is viewed in light of our primary source being our Lord. You may also see the value it has in our relationship with Him. Intimacy, Love, and Commitment by Yahschild I have a friend, John Feaster, that I've studied the teachings of the Scriptures with for several years. Recently he emailed me some thoughts about a subject he’d heard discussed at a congregational meeting, that I found interesting. I asked him if it would be ok to use his thoughts from time to time in my blogs and he said it would be fine. John pointed out the tremendous commitment Jacob made to be with the woman he loved. He worked fourteen years for her even though he was tricked into marriage with Leah for seven of those fourteen years. John points out that he was sure Leah was of some comfort to Jacob during the last seven years, but he still committed himself to work the fourteen years to be with the woman of his dreams. John pointed out the comparison to today's lack of commitment, many times. How many people would make that sort of commitment today? It seems the way of men today is to tell a woman we love her, have sex with her, then leave her to raise the baby, best she can. It really is interesting and I thank John for his thoughts. I looked (Encarta dictionary) up the definition of commitment and intimacy: Commitment is defined as devotion or dedication. Intimacy is defined as a close personal relationship. This leads me to add the following material that I’ve studied over the years, from various sources. Intimacy is an interesting topic to me, true intimacy--which is not just sex, as people usually think of when intimacy is mentioned. It seems love and such matters are being discussed a lot at this time. We have been created by God with a deep need for intimacy. He is a deeply intimate and relational God and He has created us with the same need. What is intimacy? Intimacy is defined as an inner closeness and depth of relationship; complete mutual awareness and unhindered access of interpersonal issues, information and interests. The first deception concerning intimacy is that a relationship or marriage will automatically be intimate. All of us should be comforted to know that no relationship has automatic intimacy. The second major deception concerning intimacy is that sex produces intimacy. If that were true, prostitutes and other sexually active people would be the most fulfilled people on the earth. However, that isn’t the case. Even though sex is a wonderful expression of intimacy, the act of sex doesn’t constitute intimacy. A simple definition of intimacy is "to be close and/or deep." An intimate marriage or relationship is a relationship of emotional and spiritual closeness that goes much deeper than the average friendship or family bond. Because intimacy requires the deepest levels of personal exposure and vulnerability, it can only occur successfully and over a long period of time, where certain elements are present. Genesis 2:24-25 gives us God’s plan for marriage, which is the pattern for intimacy: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." -KJV Intimacy is sharing an attitude of openness and surrender. Intimacy is impossible unless sharing occurs on the deepest levels. More important than anything else is the sharing of our hearts through open and honest communication. In addition, we must also have meaningful time together regularly, as well as share experiences, friends, etc. An intimate life is a shared life. Lack of intimacy develops in an atmosphere of separateness and selfishness. On the other hand, intimacy occurs when we surrender our individual selves to the common good of our marriage or relationship. This is the way we fall in love, and it’s one of the secrets to staying in love. A relationship of mutual support and encouragement. Couples who are intimate don’t compete with each other; they compliment each other. An intimate couple’s partnership begins with a strong and regular expression of commitment, an atmosphere of regular, positive exchange. We bond with the source that meets our needs. When we are being fed and fulfilled by our spouses or loved one, we want to be with them. Not only that, but the act of nourishing and cherishing each other bonds our spirits together. This is one of the reasons a child bonds in such a profound way to his or her parents. Whoever meets our needs will have our hearts. Also, wherever we invest the treasure of our lives is where our hearts will be. It is important that we aggressively meet each other’s needs on a daily basis. As we do this, we increase the intimate bond of our relationship. When we stop, we starve the soul of our marriages and we embitter our spouses or loved one. Another key element is trust, an environment of safety and security. True intimacy requires sharing the depths of one’s soul as well as giving of one’s life daily. This is only possible in an atmosphere of safety and security. To the degree that we create an atmosphere of trust is to the same degree we can open our hearts to one another. Trust is built through consistency, careful speech, kindness and humility. Trust is destroyed through arrogance, careless words, harshness and sin. When trust has been broken, it can only be rebuilt when the offender takes responsibility for his or her behavior and begins to consistently display a sincere heart. I also recently saw an article that a study found the secret to a long marriage (and relationship) is communication. New research now finds it’s also the key to a long life! To be free to express feelings other than be resentful that the person could not express feelings. The worse thing to do is keep it in, not talk about the problem, and be continuously angry. Also, the best way is to listen, don’t interrupt, HEAR the other person, and likewise. You talk back and forth. Use imagination, resolve the problem and come to some agreement that is workable. Yes, I believe in communication, true, honest communication. This helps lead to true intimacy, which can make all the difference in true commitment. Yes, I think Jacob knew what intimacy and commitment were all about. This story about his commitment is found below. Genesis 29:1-35 Then Jacob went on his journey, and came into the land of the people of the east. And he looked, and behold a well in the field, and, lo, there [were] three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks: and a great stone [was] upon the well's mouth. And thither were all the flocks gathered: and they rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the sheep, and put the stone again upon the well's mouth in his place. And Jacob said unto them, My brethren, whence [be] ye? And they said, Of Haran [are] we. And he said unto them, Know ye Laban the son of Nahor? And they said, We know [him]. And he said unto them, [Is] he well? And they said, [He is] well: and, behold, Rachel his daughter cometh with the sheep. And he said, Lo, [it is] yet high day, neither [is it] time that the cattle should be gathered together: water ye the sheep, and go [and] feed [them]. And they said, We cannot, until all the flocks be gathered together, and [till] they roll the stone from the well's mouth; then we water the sheep. And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep: for she kept them. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother. And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept. And Jacob told Rachel that he [was] her father's brother, and that he [was] Rebekah's son: and she ran and told her father. And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister's son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things. And Laban said to him, Surely thou [art] my bone and my flesh. And he abode with him the space of a month. And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou [art] my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what [shall] thy wages [be]? And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder [was] Leah, and the name of the younger [was] Rachel. Leah [was] tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured. And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter. And Laban said, [It is] better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me. And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him [but] a few days, for the love he had to her. And Jacob said unto Laban, Give [me] my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast. And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her. And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid [for] an handmaid. And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it [was] Leah: and he said to Laban, What [is] this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me? And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years. And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also. And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid. And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years. And when the LORD saw that Leah [was] hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel [was] barren. And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me. And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the LORD hath heard that I [was] hated, he hath therefore given me this [son] also: and she called his name Simeon. And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi. And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.

Ambassadors for Jesus

an Online Magazine

Love the message as it is viewed in light of our primary source being our Lord. You may also see the value it has in our relationship with Him.

Intimacy, Love, and Commitment

by Yahschild

I have a friend, John Feaster, that I've studied the teachings of the Scriptures with for several years. Recently he emailed me some thoughts about a subject he’d heard discussed at a congregational meeting, that I found interesting. I asked him if it would be ok to use his thoughts from time to time in my blogs and he said it would be fine.

John pointed out the tremendous commitment Jacob made to be with the woman he loved. He worked fourteen years for her even though he was tricked into marriage with Leah for seven of those fourteen years. John points out that he was sure Leah was of some comfort to Jacob during the last seven years, but he still committed himself to work the fourteen years to be with the woman of his dreams. John pointed out the comparison to today's lack of commitment, many times.

How many people would make that sort of commitment today? It seems the way of men today is to tell a woman we love her, have sex with her, then leave her to raise the baby, best she can. It really is interesting and I thank John for his thoughts. I looked (Encarta dictionary) up the definition of commitment and intimacy:

Commitment is defined as devotion or dedication.

Intimacy is defined as a close personal relationship.

This leads me to add the following material that I’ve studied over the years, from various sources. Intimacy is an interesting topic to me, true intimacy--which is not just sex, as people usually think of when intimacy is mentioned. It seems love and such matters are being discussed a lot at this time. We have been created by God with a deep need for intimacy. He is a deeply intimate and relational God and He has created us with the same need.

What is intimacy? Intimacy is defined as an inner closeness and depth of relationship; complete mutual awareness and unhindered access of interpersonal issues, information and interests. The first deception concerning intimacy is that a relationship or marriage will automatically be intimate. All of us should be comforted to know that no relationship has automatic intimacy. The second major deception concerning intimacy is that sex produces intimacy. If that were true, prostitutes and other sexually active people would be the most fulfilled people on the earth. However, that isn’t the case. Even though sex is a wonderful expression of intimacy, the act of sex doesn’t constitute intimacy.

A simple definition of intimacy is "to be close and/or deep." An intimate marriage or relationship is a relationship of emotional and spiritual closeness that goes much deeper than the average friendship or family bond. Because intimacy requires the deepest levels of personal exposure and vulnerability, it can only occur successfully and over a long period of time, where certain elements are present. Genesis 2:24-25 gives us God’s plan for marriage, which is the pattern for intimacy:

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." -KJV

Intimacy is sharing an attitude of openness and surrender. Intimacy is impossible unless sharing occurs on the deepest levels. More important than anything else is the sharing of our hearts through open and honest communication.

In addition, we must also have meaningful time together regularly, as well as share experiences, friends, etc. An intimate life is a shared life. Lack of intimacy develops in an atmosphere of separateness and selfishness. On the other hand, intimacy occurs when we surrender our individual selves to the common good of our marriage or relationship. This is the way we fall in love, and it’s one of the secrets to staying in love.

A relationship of mutual support and encouragement. Couples who are intimate don’t compete with each other; they compliment each other. An intimate couple’s partnership begins with a strong and regular expression of commitment, an atmosphere of regular, positive exchange.

We bond with the source that meets our needs. When we are being fed and fulfilled by our spouses or loved one, we want to be with them. Not only that, but the act of nourishing and cherishing each other bonds our spirits together. This is one of the reasons a child bonds in such a profound way to his or her parents. Whoever meets our needs will have our hearts. Also, wherever we invest the treasure of our lives is where our hearts will be. It is important that we aggressively meet each other’s needs on a daily basis. As we do this, we increase the intimate bond of our relationship. When we stop, we starve the soul of our marriages and we embitter our spouses or loved one.

Another key element is trust, an environment of safety and security. True intimacy requires sharing the depths of one’s soul as well as giving of one’s life daily. This is only possible in an atmosphere of safety and security. To the degree that we create an atmosphere of trust is to the same degree we can open our hearts to one another. Trust is built through consistency, careful speech, kindness and humility.

Trust is destroyed through arrogance, careless words, harshness and sin. When trust has been broken, it can only be rebuilt when the offender takes responsibility for his or her behavior and begins to consistently display a sincere heart.

I also recently saw an article that a study found the secret to a long marriage (and relationship) is communication. New research now finds it’s also the key to a long life! To be free to express feelings other than be resentful that the person could not express feelings.

The worse thing to do is keep it in, not talk about the problem, and be continuously angry. Also, the best way is to listen, don’t interrupt, HEAR the other person, and likewise. You talk back and forth. Use imagination, resolve the problem and come to some agreement that is workable.

Yes, I believe in communication, true, honest communication. This helps lead to true intimacy, which can make all the difference in true commitment. Yes, I think Jacob knew what intimacy and commitment were all about. This story about his commitment is found below.

Genesis 29:1-35

Then Jacob went on his journey, and came into the land of the people of the east. And he looked, and behold a well in the field, and, lo, there [were] three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks: and a great stone [was] upon the well's mouth. And thither were all the flocks gathered: and they rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the sheep, and put the stone again upon the well's mouth in his place. And Jacob said unto them, My brethren, whence [be] ye? And they said, Of Haran [are] we. And he said unto them, Know ye Laban the son of Nahor? And they said, We know [him]. And he said unto them, [Is] he well? And they said, [He is] well: and, behold, Rachel his daughter cometh with the sheep. And he said, Lo, [it is] yet high day, neither [is it] time that the cattle should be gathered together: water ye the sheep, and go [and] feed [them]. And they said, We cannot, until all the flocks be gathered together, and [till] they roll the stone from the well's mouth; then we water the sheep. And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep: for she kept them. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother. And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept. And Jacob told Rachel that he [was] her father's brother, and that he [was] Rebekah's son: and she ran and told her father. And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister's son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things. And Laban said to him, Surely thou [art] my bone and my flesh. And he abode with him the space of a month. And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou [art] my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what [shall] thy wages [be]? And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder [was] Leah, and the name of the younger [was] Rachel. Leah [was] tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured. And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter. And Laban said, [It is] better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me. And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him [but] a few days, for the love he had to her. And Jacob said unto Laban, Give [me] my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast. And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her. And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid [for] an handmaid. And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it [was] Leah: and he said to Laban, What [is] this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me? And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years. And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also. And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid. And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years. And when the LORD saw that Leah [was] hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel [was] barren. And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me. And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the LORD hath heard that I [was] hated, he hath therefore given me this [son] also: and she called his name Simeon. And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi. And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.

jo@ambassadorsforjesus5.com