Ambassadors for Jesus
an Online Magazine
- Home
- *Previews & Highlights
- *The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- 1. Moving to Higher Ground in Jesus
- Knowing God
- A Christmas Message: Giving birth to Jesus
- Are Mars and Venus Really That Different?
- The Master Strategist
- Father Sergius by Leo Tolstoy
- Keeping it Simple Pt 1, God's Love, Simply Divine
- Keeping it Simple Pt 2, The Holy Spirit
- Keeping it Simple Pt 3, What's the Problem?
- Deeper, Addressing Need Beyond Sin
- Godly Sorrow and Repentance
- Partaking of the Wrong Fruit
- Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth
- The Heart of the Matter
- The Eye of the Beholder
- Equality at the Cross
- The Simplicity of the Gospel
- Do We Really Have a Choice?
- Is Faith Blind?
- Is it Really not About Me?
- Our "Rubber to Road" Experience...
- Bearing Fruit
- The Love of God and Change
- 2. The Twilight Zone
- 2b. Twilight Zone Study Guide
- 3. A Cup of Laughter
- I Think I Prevented a Murder...
- What's with the Buzz?
- Bo Bo the Boxing Cat
- When Laughter Becomes Horrific
- Cyber Wars
- My Run for Office
- Walking in Your Shoes
- This Earthen Vessel
- Signs That You May Talk too Much
- The "ITES" Family
- Pesky Squirrels
- No Cheap Thrill
- Biketoberfest is Here
- Mercy for Me
- A Letter to Pastor and his Homies
- Holy Spirit Take the Wheel
- 4. Family Matters
- Jesus or Santa Clause?
- A Journey Called Life
- Discussing Theology...and Everything Else
- Growing up...by Grace through Faith in Jesus
- Lessons from Corporate America
- Lessons from Family Life
- Those Sensitive Teen Years
- Intimacy, Love, and Commitment
- Points of View
- Say What?
- Identifying with our Beliefs and Values
- My Multi-Racial Complex
- Soul Ties
- Home Building, Phase One
- Home Building, Phase Two
- Home Building, Phase Three
- Family Matters
- 5. Soup for the Soul
- 6. Extras
- *Holiday Greetings all Year Round
- 7. Reviews
- St. John the Baptist Cathedral in Savannah, Georgia
- Religulous by Bill Maher
- Villa Mirabella - book
- We Cry Out / Jesus Culture - music
- Confessions of a Shopaholic - movie
- Christmas Shows at the Gaylord Palms - entertaiment
- The Big Kahuna - movie
- Jumper - movie
- Inception - movie
- Temple Grandin - movie
- 8. Story: Christian Stepfordville, Book One: Fire and Ice
- Part I: A New Season
- Part II: Christian Stepfordville
- Part III: Close Encounters
- Part IV: Alex
- Part V: A Delicious Surprise
- Part VI: This Masquerade
- Part VII: A Glimpse Behind the Veil
- Part VIII: What to Make of it?
- Part IX: Under the Influence
- Part X: The Revolutionary
- Part XI: Reuben
- Part XII: A Table for Two
- Part XIII: JC
- Part XIV: Eclipse
- Part XV: Wake Up Call
- Part XVI: The Dance
- Part XVII: The Recruit
- Part XVIII: Growing Pains
- Part XIX: The Law, To Protect and Serve
- Part XX: A Radiant Covering
- Part XXI: Jim
- Part XXII: Contemplations
- Part XXIII Hope Floats
- Part XXIV: Reality Check
- Part XXV: The Sower and the Seed
- Part XXVI: Out of the Comfort Zone
- Part XXVII: The Promise, The Problem, and Uncertainty
- Part XXVIII: Meeting the Boys
- Part XXIX: The Master's Touch
- Part XXX: The Mark of Maturity
- Part XXXI: Camille
- Part XXXII: Bible Reading
- Part XXXIII: Where's Your Faith?
- Part XXXIV: Angela
- Part XXXV: The Prognosis
- Part XXXVI: A New Start
- Part XXXVII: Dinner Invitation
- Part XXXVIII: The Deep
- Part XXXIX: The Receiver
- Part XL: Dance Lessons
- Part XLI: A Genuine Proverbs 31 Woman
- Part XLII: Letting the Cat out of the Bag
- Part XLIII: LIght and Darkness
- Part XLIV: Fair Play
- Part: XLV: Motives
- Part XLVI: Bilingual Lessons
- Part XLVII: Where to go from Here?
- Part XLVIII: The Confessional Booth
- 8b. Christian Stepfordville, Book Two: Loving God and Loving Neighbor
- 9. En Espanol
- 10. Jo's Corner
- 11. Scriptures, Quotes, and Prayers
- 12. Art Gallery featuring Henry Jackman
- 13. Media Center: Sermons and Music
- 14. Free Products
- 15. Contact Us
- 16. Announcements
- 17. Links
A Cup of Laughter to Brighten Your Day
(www.ambassadorsforJesus5.com)
Afghan Hound by Jack D. Patton
The "ITES" Family
by Jack D. Patton
We've heard of the names -Jebusites, Amalekites, Perizzites, etc.
There are some others we may not have heard of or thought of...
Carmel-ites - The religious order claiming to be the sweetest, religiously candy -chewing ladies in the world...
Moabites - People who work out in gyms and try and expand their abdominal muscles. (Mo - abs)
Candlites - Those who will not use electricity.
Appetites - Those who are always hungry and will eat anything.
Termites - Students who go to college only one term...crammers!
Dynamites - People with very explosive personalities.
Expedites - People always in a big hurry...always on the go.
Mennonites - Men who use gobs of body powder.
Samsonites - People with a big / firm "grip" descended from Samson.
Graphites - people who can't write but communicate only with drawing / images.
Meteorites - People who are "spaced out."
Sod-omites - People who sleep on the ground only (SOD).
Sub-urbanites - Those who drive subs only.
Transvestites - Those who are obsessed with wearing vests and who change them ten times a day.
Underwrites - Office workers who do their PC work only under a table or other kind of overhead covering.
And finally, one for the PC world...
Gygaby(i)tes - those who make their living only by doing gigs.
