Godly sorrow focuses on God. Worldly sorrow says what's going to happen to me. You understand? I couldn't get free from that sin because I was afraid I would be  judged for that sin. But a year later I said, "God, I've hurt your heart, I've hurt you. I want this gone. It breaks our fellowship." That was Godly sorrow. It produced repentance. -John Bevere　

     So much of what is communicated to us is a message of "What's in it for me?"  and keeps us on a vicious cycle of self-centeredness.  Wanting a rewarding life for ourselves is not of itself wrong.  Yet if our love is to mature it is to move beyond ourselves.

     In covering this topic I feel the need to review some previous material.  Let us begin.

     1.  Self, the law, and fear are interwoven.  Where you see one the other two are present.  It is based on self-effort and self-preservation.  

     2.  Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the fruits of the Spirit are interwoven.  Where you see one the other two are present.  It is based on the power of the Holy Spirit and is self-sacrificing.

     3.  The law was created for the carnal life, not the new man in Christ. It was created to serve us, we were not created to serve it. 

     4.  The Holy Spirit lives in the new man in Christ and guides him.  We were created for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  To be joined to Him in holy matrimony and be carriers of his Light.

     5.  By the law we are condemned.  In Christ we are justified and healed.  Jesus was not sent to condemn us, but to liberate us from the law and heal us. 

     6.  The law is good, it doesn't die.  Our old carnal life is bad and in entering in through Christ it is crucified / dies so that his Spirit can give us new life.  This is how we are liberated from the law.  It is detrimental that we understand who the guilty party is. 

     Now that our review is complete, let's continue to the body of this exploration:

     When we are driven by the fear of losing out on something, or gaining that thing, it is self-serving.  The fullest expression of God's love is self-sacrificing.  That is love matured and manifests in the fruits of his Spirit (love, joy, peace, long-suffering, etc).

     For the believer, their new life is now in Christ.  Everything is a priceless gift in Him.  Jesus paid the hefty, dear price that we could not and we have the deposit into that life by way of the indwelling of his Holy Spirit.  We enter in by grace through faith in Him.  We put our trust in Jesus.  We don't earn this new life for we can't, it is received and grown. 

     Additionally, we were never created to be self-aware, but to live in the awareness of God and his great love for us...to lose self inside his love where we will find our heart's home.  As we get to know Him and grow in our intimate relationship with Him, getting shamelessly naked with the One that covers our nakedness (unreservedly opening our hearts to Him), our love for Him grows.  In effect, we will love the things He loves and hate the things He hates. Change at the deepest level is based on a love relationship with God first, and then others.  It moves beyond itself.

     You can see this same property in operation in our human relationships. We may be engaging in something that grieves another and out of a love that engages our hearts with theirs, we find ourselves willing to change for the benefit of the other and that relationship.  

     This is why just telling someone to change isn't enough, we are not engaging their hearts.  If we can capture their hearts in love, change will come as they love beyond themselves.

     Just remember, we don't earn our salvation.  Godly Sorrow (or any other Godly trait) is the manifestation of the salvation that has already been worked in.  We work out what has been worked in.

     So the next time you are wanting to change ask yourself why?  Is it due to fear of losing out on something or is it driven by the love of God? 

     Fear can be a powerful motivator, but our hearts will be won over by love...and there is no greater love than God's Love.

     Romans 2:4

     Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

Further Reading: Blackberry Picking, The Love of God and Change, Bearing Fruit, Signs That You May Talk Too Much